I wanna go Home!!!

What am I talking about...
Ain't I right now at home?
Well.....Ya it's just that I am missing something more homely and I am still asking what is it?
Could it be in the sense of missing a friend? Or a place...
Soon I realise I miss Jesus...I really do...
Like the song " I'm just too far from where you are and I wanna come home"
I wanna be the prodigal son but I realise I don't even have enough guts to go home and face Him...
I wanna be the me I used to be....
I need Him yet I just feel so distant...
Church, CF, discipleships have become so meaningless...
It's like a body that lacks a soul....
I just wanna be able to form the once upon a time relationship with Him once again but I just don't know how...
I am like a ship drifting in the sea of confussion....Ever drifting, ever lost, ever unown and unhomed...
Hmmm....It's strange that I could type this out cos I don't know how help is gonna come....I wanna go home but I just don't know the way...Please...bring me home...